I am on with an ATT rep now and being told the same thing. If an international number calls an American AT&T number, AT&T will charge the recipient of the call at international rates.
If the AT&T user is out of the country, then yes you'll pay for international calls (and calls from the US); but BECAUSE you are out of the country.
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I just got off the phone with AT&T. If you are looped in on a 3 way call initiated by someone else overseas it will charge you as if you initiated the call. AT&T needs to fix this flaw. They were understanding and removed the call charge