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Posted Feb 17, 2014
9:28:23 PM
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U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

U-verse doesn't seem to care about the quality of their program notes, but maybe by posting an occasional rewrite I can get their attention.

 

Here is the original program note for "Las Marthas" on PBS, 10 PM, 2/17, followed by my rewrite.

 

An in-depth look is taken at the annual debutante ball and pageant that takes place in Laredo, Texas, and the young Mexican-American women who are helping the celebration persevere and even flourish during a time of economic uncertainty.

 

The annual debutante ball and pageant in Laredo, Texas, where young Mexican-American women help the celebration flourish despite economic uncertainty.

U-verse doesn't seem to care about the quality of their program notes, but maybe by posting an occasional rewrite I can get their attention.

 

Here is the original program note for "Las Marthas" on PBS, 10 PM, 2/17, followed by my rewrite.

 

An in-depth look is taken at the annual debutante ball and pageant that takes place in Laredo, Texas, and the young Mexican-American women who are helping the celebration persevere and even flourish during a time of economic uncertainty.

 

The annual debutante ball and pageant in Laredo, Texas, where young Mexican-American women help the celebration flourish despite economic uncertainty.

U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 18, 2014 4:54:09 AM
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Stgrad wrote:

U-verse doesn't seem to care about the quality of their program notes, but maybe by posting an occasional rewrite I can get their attention.

 

Here is the original program note for "Las Marthas" on PBS, 10 PM, 2/17, followed by my rewrite.

 

An in-depth look is taken at the annual debutante ball and pageant that takes place in Laredo, Texas, and the young Mexican-American women who are helping the celebration persevere and even flourish during a time of economic uncertainty.

 

The annual debutante ball and pageant in Laredo, Texas, where young Mexican-American women help the celebration flourish despite economic uncertainty.


There are very specific character limitations for all descriptions.

 

 

 

 


Stgrad wrote:

U-verse doesn't seem to care about the quality of their program notes, but maybe by posting an occasional rewrite I can get their attention.

 

Here is the original program note for "Las Marthas" on PBS, 10 PM, 2/17, followed by my rewrite.

 

An in-depth look is taken at the annual debutante ball and pageant that takes place in Laredo, Texas, and the young Mexican-American women who are helping the celebration persevere and even flourish during a time of economic uncertainty.

 

The annual debutante ball and pageant in Laredo, Texas, where young Mexican-American women help the celebration flourish despite economic uncertainty.


There are very specific character limitations for all descriptions.

 

 

 

 

*I am an AT&T employee and the postings on this site are my own and don’t necessarily represent AT&T’s position, strategies or opinions.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 18, 2014 5:48:10 AM
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ACE - Master

Is the original description offensive in some way or just too wordy? 

 

I don't understand what the problem is or why the OP would not approve.

Is the original description offensive in some way or just too wordy? 

 

I don't understand what the problem is or why the OP would not approve.

*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 18, 2014 8:26:40 AM
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Actually, the revised version changes the meaning.

 

The original states that it is an "in-depth look" at the ball/pageant and the girls involved; the shortened version makes it sound like it's just showing the ball and pageant without going to details about the event or the girls.

 

Actually, the revised version changes the meaning.

 

The original states that it is an "in-depth look" at the ball/pageant and the girls involved; the shortened version makes it sound like it's just showing the ball and pageant without going to details about the event or the girls.

 

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 18, 2014 12:41:20 PM
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ACE - Master
Edited by dhascall on Feb 18, 2014 at 12:42:17 PM

Where is that guy that tried to get 'hold of U-Verse's "Index Corrections" departtment?  Smiley Very Happy

Where is that guy that tried to get 'hold of U-Verse's "Index Corrections" departtment?  Smiley Very Happy

*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 18, 2014 2:33:51 PM
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My favorite post!

My favorite post!

*I am an AT&T employee and the postings on this site are my own and don’t necessarily represent AT&T’s position, strategies or opinions.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 19, 2014 9:19:46 AM
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ACE - Master

Fox Mulder wrote:

My favorite post!


This one?  Too funny!


Fox Mulder wrote:

My favorite post!


This one?  Too funny!

*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 26, 2014 12:05:21 PM
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Too wordy.

 

E.g., NHK, "Meet and Speak"

 

The teaching of some basic Japanes phrases, letters, numbers and more that are very helpful during Japanese travel to international  tourists.

 

V. 2.0

 

Basic Japanese for tourists.

Too wordy.

 

E.g., NHK, "Meet and Speak"

 

The teaching of some basic Japanes phrases, letters, numbers and more that are very helpful during Japanese travel to international  tourists.

 

V. 2.0

 

Basic Japanese for tourists.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Feb 27, 2014 12:25:40 PM
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ACE - Master

Stgrad wrote:

Too wordy.

 

E.g., NHK, "Meet and Speak"

 

The teaching of some basic Japanes phrases, letters, numbers and more that are very helpful during Japanese travel to international  tourists.

 

V. 2.0

 

Basic Japanese for tourists.


You were right, in your first post that AT&T doesn't care "about the quality of their program notes."  The reason that they don't care is that the "program notes" are not theirs.  AT&T, as any cable or dish providers go is simply an end user.  NHK, for instance, sends the program description to a third party "guide porovider."  This is then sent / uploaded to U-Verse.  If you click on the link of my 2/19/14 post, you will see that Jim, who apparently lives in Nashville - is kind of asking the same thing - U-Verse does not have a "boiler room" full of editors for the listings.  No one does,  You might ask NHK to be less wordy.


Stgrad wrote:

Too wordy.

 

E.g., NHK, "Meet and Speak"

 

The teaching of some basic Japanes phrases, letters, numbers and more that are very helpful during Japanese travel to international  tourists.

 

V. 2.0

 

Basic Japanese for tourists.


You were right, in your first post that AT&T doesn't care "about the quality of their program notes."  The reason that they don't care is that the "program notes" are not theirs.  AT&T, as any cable or dish providers go is simply an end user.  NHK, for instance, sends the program description to a third party "guide porovider."  This is then sent / uploaded to U-Verse.  If you click on the link of my 2/19/14 post, you will see that Jim, who apparently lives in Nashville - is kind of asking the same thing - U-Verse does not have a "boiler room" full of editors for the listings.  No one does,  You might ask NHK to be less wordy.

*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Mar 2, 2014 10:09:51 AM
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Well, then a lot of networks must be using the same guy, with his penchant for "an in-depth look is taken."

 

I'm not blaming AT&T, just having fun correcting pathetic English.  To wit:

 

MIL "The Cruise of the Secret Raider"  "During the tumultuous days of World War II, the conniving forces of Germany succeed in loading cargo ships with secret reserves of armaments."

 

"The tumultuous days of" is boilerplate that could be thrown in for any major war. 

The writer doesn't know what "conniving"  means.

"Succeed in loading" is a wordy way of saying "load."

"Secret reserves of armaments" suggests hidden crates of spare weapons and ammo.

 

v 2.0  During WWII the German navy attacks Allied shipping with armed raiders disguised as merchantmen.

 

MIL "A New Germany"  "Archived film footage sees Hitler speaking before a massive crowd and relaxing in his time with Eva Braun, as the tyrant's ascension to power is traced."

 

Film footage shows events, it doesn't see them.  That's the viewer's job.

"Relaxing in his time with Eva Braun"?  Why not "relaxing with Eva Braun"?

"As the tyrant's ascension to power is treated."  The writer always goes for the passive and verbose.  "As the tyrant rises to power." 

 

Perhaps the networks and U-verse should be more concerned about the quality of these notes.  Livelier and more readible prose might attract more viewers.

 

 

Well, then a lot of networks must be using the same guy, with his penchant for "an in-depth look is taken."

 

I'm not blaming AT&T, just having fun correcting pathetic English.  To wit:

 

MIL "The Cruise of the Secret Raider"  "During the tumultuous days of World War II, the conniving forces of Germany succeed in loading cargo ships with secret reserves of armaments."

 

"The tumultuous days of" is boilerplate that could be thrown in for any major war. 

The writer doesn't know what "conniving"  means.

"Succeed in loading" is a wordy way of saying "load."

"Secret reserves of armaments" suggests hidden crates of spare weapons and ammo.

 

v 2.0  During WWII the German navy attacks Allied shipping with armed raiders disguised as merchantmen.

 

MIL "A New Germany"  "Archived film footage sees Hitler speaking before a massive crowd and relaxing in his time with Eva Braun, as the tyrant's ascension to power is traced."

 

Film footage shows events, it doesn't see them.  That's the viewer's job.

"Relaxing in his time with Eva Braun"?  Why not "relaxing with Eva Braun"?

"As the tyrant's ascension to power is treated."  The writer always goes for the passive and verbose.  "As the tyrant rises to power." 

 

Perhaps the networks and U-verse should be more concerned about the quality of these notes.  Livelier and more readible prose might attract more viewers.

 

 

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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Mar 3, 2014 12:15:52 PM
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ACE - Master

Stgrad wrote:

Well, then a lot of networks must be using the same guy, with his penchant for "an in-depth look is taken."

 

 

Perhaps the networks and U-verse should be more concerned about the quality of these notes.  Livelier and more readible prose might attract more viewers.

 

 


I doubt that using "plain English" will attract any more viewers.  AND, I would bet the farm that the writers think if they put more "fluff and stuff" in the descriptions, it will pump up an otherwise weak program to attract viewers.  On top of that, I work with some folks with language skills so poor that I cringe when I'm reading their official correspondence, such as: "the requirements would of sounded better if we would of..." etc.  And don't forget that lots do not know the difference between to, too, and two or your and you're.   I'm not perfect myself. Smiley Very Happy


Stgrad wrote:

Well, then a lot of networks must be using the same guy, with his penchant for "an in-depth look is taken."

 

 

Perhaps the networks and U-verse should be more concerned about the quality of these notes.  Livelier and more readible prose might attract more viewers.

 

 


I doubt that using "plain English" will attract any more viewers.  AND, I would bet the farm that the writers think if they put more "fluff and stuff" in the descriptions, it will pump up an otherwise weak program to attract viewers.  On top of that, I work with some folks with language skills so poor that I cringe when I'm reading their official correspondence, such as: "the requirements would of sounded better if we would of..." etc.  And don't forget that lots do not know the difference between to, too, and two or your and you're.   I'm not perfect myself. Smiley Very Happy

*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.

Re: U-verse program descriptions, v. 2.0

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