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ACE - Master


Sorry for the formatting:


*  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.


 *    When chemists die, they barium.


                                                            *  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



                                                            *  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


                                                            *  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.


                                                            *  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.



                                                            *  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.


                                                            *  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


                                                            *  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.


                                                            *  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words .


                                                            *  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.


                                                            *  This dyslexic man walks into a bra .


                                                            *  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


                                                            *  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.


                                                            *  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


                                                            *  What does a clock do when it's hungry?

                                                                 It goes back four seconds.


                                                            *  I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!


                                                            *  Broken pencils are pointless.


                                                            *  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.


                                                            *  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .


                                                            *  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


                                                            *  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


                                                            *  All the toilets in the police stations have been stolen.

                                                               Police say they have nothing to go on.


                                                            *  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


                                                            *  Velcro - what a rip off!


                                                            *  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.


*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
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Former Employee

Re: Pun-ography

Ha! Pun-tastic Smiley Very Happy

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