How do I get rid of idiotic software updates?

Every single time a software "update" is pushed out, my phone loses functionality.  I end up with 30 notifications about meaningless stuff that I have to clear.  I have to fix all of my settings back to what I want them to be.  Why are these "updates" forced on me?  It is my phone, I should be allowed to decide what I want done with it and when I want it done.  My phone, my risk.  I don't want to learn your more complicated new way of doing something that has worked without flaw up until your update.  I don't want my icons changed to whatever is currently trendy with 13 year old girls.  How do I get my phone to remain as I want it to remain instead of having to deal with the useless idiocy of your forced updates at your whim?  I left Apple because they don't allow the phone that I purchased to be mine.  Why would anyone think that it is good to follow that model and force those of us who choose to maintain our own lives to fall in line with what you want for us, whether we want it or not?