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how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

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how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

my wife approached me one day asking me why I was texting people of course I acted dumb but quickly changed when she told me word for word what the message said and the response back also said, she also implied she has seen all my emails to and from .

Yes she has full access  to my phone and our art account but I delete and text or emails I respond to or send the texts sent numbers from or in my contacts in phone I use a Samsung galaxy j3  she has a Apple iPhone7.  does anyone know how she can see everything  from my cellphone  our phones aren't synced don't use Bluetooth or location and do not have a email recovery on my account for my phone 

 

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Message 1 of 19
ACE - Professor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Dylan2017Anyone with access to the account details can view the call/text logs, regardless of any action on the device (such as deleting texts, threads, call logs, etc).

*If this (or another post in this thread) fixes your problem/issue, please mark it as "accept-solution", and I'll tag it, to make it easier for others to find the answer(s). FYI: I'm an AT&T end-user, just like most of us in the forum. Thanks.

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*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 2 of 19
Contributor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

so can you explain in depth detail how I can go on my att account and see it for myself and i already changed my password and deleted the email art sends saying that  the password  or username  had been changed but there are some messages I would like to re look at myself

Message 3 of 19
Contributor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

thankyou pgrey foe your responce yes it did answer the question I asked  and as you can see I clicked helpful

BUT now can you tell me in depth of how I can go on my att account and see my old and deleted text message  will it allow me to read the content of the message or just see the time date  and number and the number that texted  me

please let me know step by step instructions on how to read my deleted messages

Message 4 of 19
ACE - Sage
Solution
Accepted by topic author
Accepted by Dylan2017
‎11-24-2017 5:15 AM

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

The only way she would know text messages is if she is able to look into your phone.  If you use ATT messages or number sync, the text is available on another device, but it requires access to the phone to sign up for that service.  Don’t know why she feels invading your privacy is okay.  

 

(The following is included after all posts to save typing) I don’t work for AT&T. My replies are based on experience and reading content available on the website. Our answers are honest, but not always appreciated. If you posted personal information, please edit and remove.
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*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
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Message 5 of 19
ACE - Professor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Dylan2017You can't view your older messages (content), what @lizdance40 is helping move along here.

 

However, you can view your account call/text/data history info by logging into it, and click on "My Wireless" -> "See All My Usage" -> "Data, talk & text logs".

On the resulting page, you can see your call/text/data history details, depending on which you select, and which number you select.  You can select previous billing periods, also at the top of the page.

It's ONLY the to/from numbers (can be obscured by blocked caller-ID though) and times, but perhaps it's helpful in some way to your situation.

 

@lizdance40This is a "weird" area of privacy if you ask me, when the billing itself becomes the privacy issue, I'm not sure what the precedent is...

My personal thinking is that if I'm making contacts that I don't want to be sharing with my spouse (other than arranging a surprise party or something), then I'd have to question myself as to why.  Sure, there are tons of ways to completely obscure those contacts, but I'm not going to intentionally mention those here, given the context, my moral-compass says that the user can self-discover if they feel it's necessary.

*If this (or another post in this thread) fixes your problem/issue, please mark it as "accept-solution", and I'll tag it, to make it easier for others to find the answer(s). FYI: I'm an AT&T end-user, just like most of us in the forum. Thanks.

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*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 6 of 19
ACE - Sage

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@pgrey. This is the second post today and one of several this week from a spouse snooping, or asking if they can snoop, or the victim of a nosy mate.  It makes me uncomfortable that people snoop on a partner or child’s text messages.  

Technology is making it easier.   

    @Dylan2017    I don’t get the vibe from your post that your doing anything worth hiding.  Wish you the best.  It’s not easy living with someone whose nosy or with trust issues.  

 

 

(The following is included after all posts to save typing) I don’t work for AT&T. My replies are based on experience and reading content available on the website. Our answers are honest, but not always appreciated. If you posted personal information, please edit and remove.
Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 7 of 19
ACE - Professor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@lizdance40 Yeah, these make me squeamish, except possibly in terms of younger kids phones.  I want to know who my daughter is talking too still, but not what was said, unless it's an "odd" contact (she knows how to keep her contacts current so I see recognizable people, and then I don't ask her what's up.

It's really sort of a lost-cause though, unless I shut down some of the various other social apps, such as snapchat, since I'm never really going to track her usage there.

 

@Dylan2017Same, mostly.  I guess my wife and I wouldn't really track/question each other like this, or I can't think of a scenario where we might, it just wouldn't be in our character.  I do hope everything is "ok", and you can reach something amicable too.

 

*If this (or another post in this thread) fixes your problem/issue, please mark it as "accept-solution", and I'll tag it, to make it easier for others to find the answer(s). FYI: I'm an AT&T end-user, just like most of us in the forum. Thanks.

Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 8 of 19
Tutor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

Ok so in in kinda the same situation my wife thinks in cheating with one of my daughters friends from school mom . As to which i might add i am not an have never strayed the path but i have found a kindred  spirt in this lady an i really enjoy hanging out with her an textinf back an fourth. Well my wife throws the phone bill at me and accuses me of cheating i explained the situation that we had necome really good friends . Well she now wants me to stop texting an stop all contact with this lady as to which i have said no. She thonks im being disrespectful an i dont think so . Our kids play together we see each other at school i cant just cut her out plus luke i said i enjoy hanging out with her. So i have never tried tk hide my texts or hide anyrhing for that fact . Up until now cause she just wont let it go. An i dont want her to be on constant patrol of everything . So im tjinking it would just be easier if i could send texts an they not show up on my bill ive jusr started looking into this because my wife again flipped out when she had asked an i told her yes i had texted her . An she went loonie .an mind you im not cheating toyal platonic  relationship.  An to me its no longer about this lady its about her invading my privacy  an trying to control whi i can an cant associate  with its not right. So if anyone can tell me how to lose the texting numbers from my phone bill it would be great. An thanks.

Message 9 of 19
ACE - Sage

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Ibbigpapa

Im no marriage counselor, but I’ve been in the exact same situation.  I may not have been the sort to cheat, but, the fact is he was making himself very available and I was not able to have the same relationship with my husband.  So in fact it was the first symptom of a marriage on its way down the drain.  

You're on the slippery slope and denying it.

You can let your wife read the messages, it won’t make her feel better.  You can hide them, which will make you feel like you’re cheating.  

I say, wake up.  Something is missing in your communication with your wife and she’s no dummy, she sees it too. 

Good luck.

(And yes, I was hiding by using Facebook messenger.  And Mr. available was the first man I dated and had a relationship with years later after my divorce). 

(The following is included after all posts to save typing) I don’t work for AT&T. My replies are based on experience and reading content available on the website. Our answers are honest, but not always appreciated. If you posted personal information, please edit and remove.
Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 10 of 19
Employee

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Ibbigpapa, what @lizdance40 is saying is 100% true and i dont think any man or woman would consider it ok, its called having an emotional affair and no less hurtful than if you were actually cheating on your spouse

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Message 11 of 19
ACE - Sage

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Constructive

Yeah, I shouldn’t minimize my part.   People were assuming we were fooling around.  When it got to close I cut him out entirely.   I can’t print how it went when we got together years later.  

(The following is included after all posts to save typing) I don’t work for AT&T. My replies are based on experience and reading content available on the website. Our answers are honest, but not always appreciated. If you posted personal information, please edit and remove.
Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 12 of 19
ACE - Professor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

@Ibbigpapa Yeah, I'm going to join in with the "this seems to be crossing some sort of line" crowd here, just my gut anyway.

 

As such, I'm replying to this, with a little trepidation, hopefully with some insight.

I have lots of female friends, some of which I text with off/on, some I talk to on FB,a few from college, some from cycling, others from skiing, climbing, backpacking, etc.

My wife has male friends too, probably not nearly as many as my counterparts, but some, and really I don't think either of us gives it much thought.

I will go so far as to say I have a couple of ex-people-I've-dated, way back, that I still ride with and maintain friendships with (mostly people I used to bike race with), and a couple of whom we all hang out (wife included), and it's just not "a thing".

We don't have any sort of "open marriage" or similar, just to dispel any conjecture there.

 

I don't think either of us has ever "perused/scanned/whatever" the cell bill, or similar, for any behavior the other would deem, "unacceptable".

Sometimes we joke about comments we make on each others FB friends, since they cross over a lot, but really neither of us is very big FB posters, so that's occasional.

I'm 100% sure I could do all my communication through abstracted (pure-data, obscured) mechanisms, like you're referring to here, but I don't really have any reason/inclination to, and would really be asking myself questions, if I did.

The technical aspect of doing this is very easy, but the implications could probably fill several psych volumes.

 

I'd say this one is a job for a counselor or something along those lines, NOT for forum help to obscure the communication.

Where you take this next, is up to you, really; some decisions are really, really difficult.

*If this (or another post in this thread) fixes your problem/issue, please mark it as "accept-solution", and I'll tag it, to make it easier for others to find the answer(s). FYI: I'm an AT&T end-user, just like most of us in the forum. Thanks.

Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 13 of 19
ACE - Professor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages


@lizdance40 wrote:

@Constructive

Yeah, I shouldn’t minimize my part.   People were assuming we were fooling around.  When it got to close I cut him out entirely.   I can’t print how it went when we got together years later.  


@lizdance40 Yep, I'm 110% on-board with the way you went here.

If something happens, years later, AFTER other things have resolved/dissolved, that's a completely different matter, a separate one really, IMHO.

*If this (or another post in this thread) fixes your problem/issue, please mark it as "accept-solution", and I'll tag it, to make it easier for others to find the answer(s). FYI: I'm an AT&T end-user, just like most of us in the forum. Thanks.

Award for Community Excellence 2019 Achiever*
*The views and opinions expressed on this forum are purely my own. Any product claim, statistic, quote, or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party.
Message 14 of 19
Tutor

Re: how is my wife able to see my incoming and out going text messages

I agree with you i dont feel like i should have to or need to go under cover to talk with my lady friend i also have thought that doing so makes me feel as if im doing something wrong an i am absolutely not an have no intentions nor does she. An you are probably correct in saying counseling would be benifital. An i to have other ladie friends that she knows i text hang out with an what not an she doesnt saY anything about them. For me its really no longer about this one lady its now that she is trying to tell me who i can an cant communicate with which is wrong i my book. I do not do these things with her. An dont get me wrong i dont want to get divorced over some texts but i also dont want to lose this lady as a friend because my wife has gotten a wild hair in her behind for some reason.so im at a loss of what to do at this point but i do know i dont want it to look shady by going an texting under cover . I do thank you for your advice an input.
Message 15 of 19
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